DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS (or the uncertainty of the English language)

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, “I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?
“Leroy replied, “I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?”
———————————————————-
“Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce Court Judge said, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week,”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”
———————————————————
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.”
“Me neither doc,” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids”.
———————————————————-
Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
———————————————————-
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, “Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?”
The agent replies, “Just a minute..”
“Thank you,” the blonde says, and hangs up.
———————————————————–
Moe: “My wife got me to believe in religion.”
Joe: “Really?”
Moe: “Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in hell.”