Wisdom…

He said to me: I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
I said to him: You wear pants don’t you? 

He said to me: Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said: That’s a good idea; you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart… 

 He said to me: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him: Turn sideways and look in the mirror! 

He said to me: Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
I said to him: They don’t have time. 

He said to me: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him: I don’t know; it has never happened. 

He said to me: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
I said to him: They already have boyfriends. 

He said to me: Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him: Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge. 

He said to me: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said to him: A widow.