The Penis requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:
has to work hard;
has to work at great depths;
has to work upside down;
has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work;
has to work in a high humidity environment;
has to work at high temperatures;
does not get weekends and holidays off;
does not get time off after extra hours of work;
has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness.

Request denied for the following reasons:
does not work 8 hours in a row;
does not answer immediately to all requests;
after a short activity period, falls asleep at work;
shows no fidelity to the workplace;
retires too early;
does not work at all unless pushed from behind;
does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work;
sometimes leaves work, too early.