Alerta aos sedentários!

Ju malha há 20 anos. O marido dela não.
Ju corre 20 minutos todo dia. O marido dela não.
Ju faz sexo 3 vezes por semana. O marido dela não.

Desculpem-me, esqueci de traduzir para vocês…

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.  This is how it manifests:

I decided to wash my car.   As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decided to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decided to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote, someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide  to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but ! most of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you?  Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don’t remember to whom it has been sent. Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.

O embrião do estadista.